They’re too sweet and gross and weird
when I was little my dad would cut up a mango for us in a way so that he could push on the back and little shapes would pop out and I used to eat mangoes just so I could bite off the squares or circles because they were so cool looking
but it was really really gross to eat and then I would get mango juice all over my face and it was sticky and gross
also one time we found worms in one and it was absolutely disgusting
Like, without crushing it or anything
and I am able to then close my mouth
I have had a crush on every single guy that has ever really been able to make me laugh on a regular basis
I have always wanted to be friends with the girls who could do the same
I spend hours listening to comedians and finding new stand-up bits to watch
If you can make me laugh, I’m so yours
Like a museum or a school or a public pool or a gym or whatever
I literally had no idea about sex
I didn’t know about any of it
I didn’t know what boners were
or that sex required repeated thrusts (I thought the guy just sort of sat inside the girl for a while)
Also, my dad found out about it
I had completely blocked all this out of my memory until this evening
Stop judging me
I always thought he was kind of hot, ok?
Like, I know he was a horrible dictator, but, I can’t control my dreams!
SERIOUSLY, I CAN FEEL YOU JUDGING ME THROUGH THE INTERNET
And I’m proud of it
Never going to see the rest of those shitty movies
Don’t freak out, I probably don’t, and if I do it’s skin cancer that’s very treatable and I’m completely not worried about it.
I have these three birthmarks on my back which abnormal, according to dermatologists, and we’re watching them to make sure that they’re not cancer nor develop into cancer.
But, if they do turn out to be cancerous, we’ll just have surgery to remove them, and we’ll basically be done with it, which is why I’m completely not worried about it.
They’re really broad. I really hate them. I look bad in tank tops because of them.
Like way too much sugar, like 4 teaspoons
It tastes weird and bad
I’m not really attracted to them, but they’re just really really cool
Like, they’re round and bouncy and cool to look at
I mostly notice that everyone’s boobs are bigger than mine :(
But, yeah, boobs are pretty fucking amazing
In case that wasn’t obvious